No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
