i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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