The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
