Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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