The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
