If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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