At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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