What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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