I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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