I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
