Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
