You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
my poor anus
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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