Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
