we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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