nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
