i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
