you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
