she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
there was a trapeze. enough said
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
