Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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