Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
