My hair reeks of homosexuality.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
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