Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
