remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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