maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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