What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
