So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Couch. On fire.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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