One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
