Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm passing your future prison.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
