do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
