She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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