love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
