U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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