Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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