2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
