i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
