yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
