I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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