whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
they're like a gay fantastic four
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
