Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
