Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
