Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
