There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
