i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
