As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just forgot I was standing up.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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