We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Your cock deserves a montage
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
