If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
