We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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