What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
