i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
