He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
