he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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